So this last week has been somewhat of a whirlwind in the sorts of feelings and my relationship with Dani. Not all is lost when you have faith and hope. I look at it this way, it takes two to tango and sometimes your going to miss that step in the routine, were you take one step forward then two steps back. Nonetheless if you truly do want things to work out you have to put effort into them and work things out. Whose to say at the end of the day what the outcome will be, but if you don't try then whose too blame.
I don't think it matters how old we get or how our lives go we run into speed bumps along the way. I know I have my fair share of speed bumps to go along ways in my life. But again what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Every day that passes since my heart skipped that beat when she felt that she couldn't be in a relationship, but only saw me as more of a friend that really did hurt. I really felt as if we were on a wonderful journey and then it just came crashing back down to reality. I knew there had to be more then just wanting to be friends, especially after many many great in depth conversations that we shared and where we both stood on the relationship between us. We were friends, we were becoming the best of friends, and that is what we both wanted out of the relationship and to one day be so so happy that we would be the best of friends forever. Things change, they really do, but that isn't always for the bad, sometimes you have to endure a speed bump or two to really build those strong foundations of a beautiful relationship.
I see this as one of those building blocks to the future. Its about truly getting to know someone inside and out, what makes them tick. When things get down, you are there for them, hopefully to make it all better or at least as good as you may be able too. I know I don't have all the answers, but what I do know is that I don't give up. That maybe be a downfall of mine, its kind of a Sproul trait to have that bulldog intensity and fight until the end. I am stubborn, especially when I want something or want to prove my point. My point here is that I am here for her, my arms are fully extended and my heart open to her. I want to be that man that is standing not in front or behind, but next to her in all that she may do or I do in life.
We don't know everything about each other thats for sure, but thats part of the fun of getting to know someone. Maybe we skipped over a few steps along this process where we are at right now, but that doesn't mean we can't go back and figure, those little things that make us tick, out. If you was to talk to any of my friends, my mom or any of my ex girl friends there would be a common theme as to how I am or work. Like you know firsthand, I may not always say the right thing, but its in my intentions that I try to say it, just doesn't always come out the right way. But I am honest, stubborn, will be there for you until the end, awesome listener, a great hug giver, an emotional up-lifter and many many more things. I personally feel my strongest attribute is a strong emotional person, that will be there for you no matter what is going on. I can wear my emotions on my sleeves or I can bottle them up, but you will not find a stronger person to get through the tough times with than me, ok the good Lord is way better :) Seriously though when you need that rock for that foundation that is what I am for! I don't easily get overwhelmed, I have my moments though, but in the end I am one tough cookie. I have my faults, my downfalls, my stubbornness, I am human. Just like the next person.
I probably have gotten away from the basis of my blog, but I think I have laid it out there for you to see who you are dealing with, someone that will be there for you through thick and thin!!
I am not here to pressure you by any means, but I am here for you, Dani! Like I have said before whether its tomorrow or 3 months from now or 50 plus years I want to be standing next to you in lifes journeys. You know where I stand, you have my heart, you have my hand, its up to you as to what you choose to do with all this that is me :)
In the end if friends or frands comes out of it then I will have to accept that fact, but I want you to know that I am not giving up on this battle and you truly are an angel and someone that I count as a blessing in my life. Thank you for being a part of it.
Walk on Down
'Cause I got no time to lose
Its my life if I choose
Put on my walkin' shoes
And those walkin shoes are walking right towards you Dani.
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