Bad Romance Halestorm Style

 So on my way home from my weekend in the city, I jammed out to some Halestorm!! Pretty much they don't play a song on either of the CD's that sucks. With that said, listening to every song, every lyric and every word will catch your attention in some aspect. You can really sense the things that she sings about have in someway played a part in her life. That to is how I can relate to the songs just with the lyrics and things that go on in life.

Lately in life its been crazy busy with everything, school, work, helping out around the house, life and relationships/girls. This isn't a sad post as more of just was really feeling this song today, so I just hit repeat in the car and was jamming. Funny thing is that Lady Gaga originally sings it, but she just doesn't do what Lizzy does to the words. 

Things as of late with Dani haven't been just 100% awesome, but at the same time we are still learning things that make each of us tick. I guess that is what is great about the whole situation is the learning more about her. I think each day that we have some sort of interaction is great in the chance that it gives us new things that we may not of known about them in the previous opportunity. I know things have slowed way down in the last 2 weeks, but I am still thankful to be able to have contact with her in the ways we are. I have learned that this if it does happen, a more serious future between us, it is just going to take time. And that is something that I do have plenty of is time. Time is on my side. I am patient, because I know Dani is worth the wait. She is amazing and I truly am happy to be a part of her life as well. I believe that she feels the same way, just in her life at this moment it is even crazier than mine. I just take each day one day at a time and thankful for her time. 

Anyways back to the song. Like I said many of Halestorms songs and lyrics hit that spot, whether good bad or otherwise. *(Making a misnomer here, so if you read this Dani by all means this is not meant to be negative, just how I feel about you and I think that we will make a Bad Romance in a awesome good way.) That was like a double negative, hahahaa.

Want your bad romance
Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather-studded kiss in the sand
And I want your love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad,your bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cause you’re a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your psycho
Your vertical stick
Want you in my rear window
'Cause baby you're sick
I want your love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad,your bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance
Want your bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don’t wanna be friends

Je deux amour
Et te veux ta revanche
Je deux amour
I don’t wanna be friends

Want your bad romance
Want your bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

And there you have it, another crazy blog of just how I am feeling, but it feels so good to be able to express this like this. So enjoy until next time ;p 

Count each day as a blessing!

So this last week has been somewhat of a whirlwind in the sorts of feelings and my relationship with Dani. Not all is lost when you have faith and hope. I look at it this way, it takes two to tango and sometimes your going to miss that step in the routine, were you take one step forward then two steps back. Nonetheless if you truly do want things to work out you have to put effort into them and work things out. Whose to say at the end of the day what the outcome will be, but if you don't try then whose too blame.

I don't think it matters how old we get or how our lives go we run into speed bumps along the way. I know I have my fair share of speed bumps to go along ways in my life. But again what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Every day that passes since my heart skipped that beat when she felt that she couldn't be in a relationship, but only saw me as more of a friend that really did hurt. I really felt as if we were on a wonderful journey and then it just came crashing back down to reality. I knew there had to be more then just wanting to be friends, especially after many many great in depth conversations that we shared and where we both stood on the relationship between us. We were friends, we were becoming the best of friends, and that is what we both wanted out of the relationship and to one day be so so happy that we would be the best of friends forever. Things change, they really do, but that isn't always for the bad, sometimes you have to endure a speed bump or two to really build those strong foundations of a beautiful relationship.

I see this as one of those building blocks to the future. Its about truly getting to know someone inside and out, what makes them tick. When things get down, you are there for them, hopefully to make it all better or at least as good as you may be able too. I know I don't have all the answers, but what I do know is that I don't give up. That maybe be a downfall of mine, its kind of a Sproul trait to have that bulldog intensity and fight until the end. I am stubborn, especially when I want something or want to prove my point. My point here is that I am here for her, my arms are fully extended and my heart open to her. I want to be that man that is standing not in front or behind, but next to her in all that she may do or I do in life.

We don't know everything about each other thats for sure, but thats part of the fun of getting to know someone. Maybe we skipped over a few steps along this process where we are at right now, but that doesn't mean we can't go back and figure, those little things that make us tick, out. If you was to talk to any of my friends, my mom or any of my ex girl friends there would be a common theme as to how I am or work. Like you know firsthand, I may not always say the right thing, but its in my intentions that I try to say it, just doesn't always come out the right way. But I am honest, stubborn, will be there for you until the end, awesome listener, a great hug giver, an emotional up-lifter and many many more things. I personally feel my strongest attribute is a strong emotional person, that will be there for you no matter what is going on. I can wear my emotions on my sleeves or I can bottle them up, but you will not find a stronger person to get through the tough times with than me, ok the good Lord is way better :) Seriously though when you need that rock for that foundation that is what I am for! I don't easily get overwhelmed, I have my moments though, but in the end I am one tough cookie. I have my faults, my downfalls, my stubbornness, I am human. Just like the next person.

I probably have gotten away from the basis of my blog, but I think I have laid it out there for you to see who you are dealing with, someone that will be there for you through thick and thin!!

I am not here to pressure you by any means, but I am here for you, Dani! Like I have said before whether its tomorrow or 3 months from now or 50 plus years I want to be standing next to you in lifes journeys. You know where I stand, you have my heart, you have my hand, its up to you as to what you choose to do with all this that is me :)

In the end if friends or frands comes out of it then I will have to accept that fact, but I want you to know that I am not giving up on this battle and you truly are an angel and someone that I count as a blessing in my life. Thank you for being a part of it.

Walk on Down
'Cause I got no time to lose
Its my life if I choose
Put on my walkin' shoes

And those walkin shoes are walking right towards you Dani.

I WIsh I Felt Nothing

Isn't that the truth? Anyone that truly knows me, knows this is not the real Zach, one to show emotion or give to damns about anything related to love. But to be honest, maybe I have been hiding it from myself, the real Zach. A real person that has a huge heart that deep down loves love.

Its funny how we come about to learn new things about others and of course ourselves. I can tell you I guess I am human as the next and truly do have a heart that is warm and open, and not a cold steel closed one that I have portrayed for many years. This is what love feels like when you actually try it and give your heart to others. It is suppose to hurt, just like the 80s song by the J. Giles Band, Love Stinks or Love Hurts by Nazareth. I can truly say that I did my best and tried to be there for her, knowing what she had on her plate of life. A single mother to a wonderful young man, a Redsox nut, OU fanatic, a football mom, student, a walker of life in all directions, but at the same time she knew what she was getting in return. A guy that would walk to hell and back for her without question, but also at the same time respect all of those things that she had going. Just maybe it took a little time for me to fully understand that she was a busy gal. What can I say I'm a slow learner hehe

I know she doesn't want to hear this as it just makes it that much harder, but thank you Dani, for this past month of what you gave me, your smile, your hugs, your frandship as I say it, your heart, your everything. I am sorry for hitting a few nerves tonight on the phone as we talked. I had no intentions to do that, I was just telling you the view from my side. It was not right of me to keep pressing the issue. All I asked for was some honesty and closure, I just can put it in the good Lords hands and pray that I haven't completely lost you even if that means just us being friends and not frands. (You realize it won't be the same saying it when your not around?) Even as I write this I am smiling when I should probably be truly crying because of how much I really do hurt. But that is what I loved about you and the time we had, was I was always in heaven and no matter what you made me feel whole again and like a real person.

Thank you Dani for putting those smiles on my face. They say you just know it when you know it, well I know it was something that they will be writing about in the history books of PIC's, bestfrands and the Little Rascals. Nothing will make me resent you or hate you in anyway, because I've changed, you've changed me for the good, even if it is with a little heartache :( Can't say I didn't try and I truly believe you tried your best too, but in the end....

The What Ifs...

There seems to be a repetitive theme in my life when it comes to dating. And honestly I am not sure what to think of it or even really how to address it. Mostly it just leaves me sitting there with that perplexed look on my face and scratching my head. What if.....

The story goes a little something like this.

Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl doesn't like boy.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl doesn't like boy.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl doesn't like boy.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl doesn't like boy.

Anyone see a theme here? I sure do, but sitting here I still just can't seem to grasp this odd concept. Just when you feel as if you have gotten there then it just as quickly disappears.I do respect peoples decisions, we all have them and use them to get in or out of situations, but sometimes it is just difficult to fully understand the reasoning.

So I'll leave you with this for the time being. I am ready for...

Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, period!!

What a weekend!!

Wow, what a wonderful time I had this past weekend. Another weekend down of class, just one left and summer school will be complete. Now onto papers this week to finish up for class. And that wasn't even the exciting point of the weekend. That was left for Dani!!

So Friday, we were able to just hang out and talk and cuddle, how much fun did we have :) I once again am so happy to be in a relationship that is healthy and something that I want to be a part of. It feels so great to actually work towards something that is so worth it!! I am a happy little school boy. Saturday morning was so peaceful as Dani took the time to actually make me breakfast before I had to head to class. I can't even tell you how much that means to me, especially since I would not even ask her to do this. After class I got the honor to meet Dani's mom, brother and son Kody. It was a great to interact with her family in a family get together. These are the moments that I look forward to as it is just one more step in getting closer to Dani and learning more about her and her family. It really was a good time as I honestly felt welcomed and part of the family. I think overall it was a hit. It was fun for sure playing a little frandly game of soccer, I won;t brag or anything that I beat Dani in her own game. I wouldn't do something like that hehe. It was a great time had by all.

And of course Sunday before class, words can't even express how much I really enjoyed the time that I was able to spend with Dani. It was something surreal, something I want every day from here on out. It was great to just be able to lay there and talk with her and just spend those relaxing moments with someone who I care deeply for. I know I sure didn't want to leave :( It just makes us that much stronger and I am totally thrilled at the next chance we get to hang out and just let the the time pass us as we enjoy each others warm words and soft touches as we hold each other close. 

Learning experiences...

So this post is going to be a little out of order, but I truly felt the need to express my feelings after our latest phone conversation and messaging tonight. I think you might see where I am coming from with this Dani, and that is my heart.

Am I inexperienced in this realm yes, most definitely, but that doesn't change the fact of one how I feel about you and two how I want you to understand my feelings for Kody. From our conversation I may have not been perfectly clear as too what I was trying to say, but nonetheless I was being truthful and trying to say how I felt and I do want to learn all about him and be a part of his life as much as yours. Is there pressure of course there is pressure, this is another first for me. But it is a first that I want it to be and I am in it 110%. Like I said I wouldn't have been open to talk about this issue unless I felt comfortable with it, ok not so much comfortable as I am new to this area and am only trying my best in embracing it as I know how. Is that good enough for you? Maybe, maybe not, I don't have that answer, but again am I in it to win it, heck yes I am!!! I told you from the start I sometimes don't get my point or best interest across in communication, but I do mean well.

I completely got what you were saying as you are not looking for a father for Kody as he has one, but someone to love him and be there for him. Don't you think if anyone knows what that void is it would be me. That is why I said I want to be the best, even if that is his best frand, ok that won't happen, because that is you. But I would love to be a wonderful role model for him and I think that I am a great role model. I too just want someone to love me and be there for me as you will get nothing but the best in return. I know I am not perfect, I fail, I make mistakes and again my experience on this level is a beginner. Much like Kody is in football, I am going to take my bumps and bruises, but I'll get right back up and dust myself off and try again.

I heard everything you said tonight as you don't want to get hurt and last thing is to have Kody get hurt. My intentions would be to not hurt either of you, does trying that always work well no. None of us knows what lies ahead of us down the road, but that is one thing I do not want to disappoint either of you. Again just like him and football, I know some things, but I don't know everything there is to know about little alone being a parent, but trying to be there in someones life I think I know a few things. And with a little coaching from the coaching Nazi ;p and compassion and guidance I feel that I can be someone successful in his life. I know his opinion counts like ten fold and of course I respect this along with your opinion too.

I could have easily tried to go to bed, but to tell you the truth my heart sunk a little when I heard that you were confused and a little apprehensive of my explanation of answers. So that meant not a good nights rest for me and the last thing that I want to do is to make you uncomfortable in any situation. This is why I have devoted this time to express my true feelings, just like I would devote this much time to him or you. My blog title wouldn't be named the name that it is for nothing if I wasn't telling the truth. Am I scared yes, mostly because we can't predict the future. I am afraid to fail either one of you. Really wanted to put some lyrics right here, and I think this song is appropriate.

I Won't Back Down by Mr. Tom Petty!!!

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down

And I won't back down from any challenges that are presented to me, that includes this one. We only live life once and if you don't try then the only person that can take that away from you is yourself. So we must live this life from day to day and that is what you get from me, but you also get what could possibly be the greatest love story to ever be told. You know where my heart stands and I stand firmly with my heart as I am more than 110% ready for this adventure. My ears and heart are always open for discussion to any issue that we may have, whether the good, the bad or the ugly.

I hope that when you read this you will better understand my stance on his future endeavor that I am embracing with open arms and an open mind. This just may be my finest piece of work to date, so please critique my work so I can better learn from my mistakes. Just know that you are truly someone worth more than just a while, you are priceless and yes that includes Kody as well. Like you said its a package deal, well if I break you then I guess its a two for one steal :)

Until next time...

It's Been A While

It actually has been about a week since I wrote on here, been a whirlwind type of week, but a good whirlwind week nonetheless!!! The summer is heating up and so is my life. This past week we wrapped up the 4th of July, my moms birthday and my first weekend of summer school. With all that nothing compared to my half weekend with Dani :) The sweetest girl in my life and I would not want anyone else to be that person.

We have been in constant contact since we started talking after 15 years of silence. Ever word, sentence paragraph, chat, face to face talk, text has been just priceless. My ears what to hear the next word that rolls off her sweet lips. I watch her eyes as she speaks every word with excitement and a smile. My face lighting up with all the magical things she says, its just so wonderful to be into someone so much that you watch everything that she does. And her touch just so soft and perfect. I can't get enough of her being next to me, our bodies touching and holding hands with our fingers intertwined. This feeling that you are doing to me just is something unexplainable, I am in total loss of words. My life is so so complete with Dani. She is everything that I could imagine that my partner in crime could be ;)

Another first we cooked together and how awesome was it. We made some mad stuffed chicken and awesome sauteed veggies with pasta, mmmmm. It was something that I am so ready to do everyday from here on out, I know we are going to be pretty awesome cooks together. I really enjoy small things like this and I would be lying if I said I can't wait to spend so much more time with you, I can't wait. I am so ready for the next chapter in this crazy whirlwind relationship that we have started and too see what the next step will lead too. Things like this don't happen every day or even maybe lifetime, but this is our time and we are taking it and running with it like there is no tomorrow.

Dani, I can't wait until that next step happens until then we are going to have one hell of an adventure :)

Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long

I can't even wait for that ride :)

Thank you Dani for becoming my bestfrand hehe

Life's Been Good to Me so far

"They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far..."

That sums up my 4th of July weekend!! I celebrated the 4th in typical Sproul family form with the addition of one,  Dani. This by far was the best 4th of July ever and there have been some nice ones in the past, but this is the present.

I wanted nothing more than to have someone that I have so much feelings for to share in something that I cherish so much and that is family time on a holiday. We decided to have our family get together on the 3rd with some good ole family fun, guns and sun; along with fireworks, 4wheelers and food!! If that doesn't say American, than I don't know what does. Overall it was a great time had by all.

So back to Dani getting literally thrown into the lions den in meeting a good portion of my family. I think she came out unscathed ;) From the moment that she met my mother, I knew things were going to go well. She just fits as my mom puts it. I loved hearing that, made me smile. Although once mom found out she could cook and/or bake and I didn't have her bring anything, mom was like next time you can come and bring anything you want too don't listen to him, haha. I just love hearing my mom embrace the woman I want to be a part of my life and the families life. In the past there have been some she has liked and some she hasn't cared all that much for, so I would say you are a HIT! After that then the real excitement took place, she got to meet most of the rest of the family. And they were pretty polite and didn't scare her off or at least I hope she hasn't been scared off. I know they all enjoyed her company, but not as much as I did. Well maybe one did...


Dani's sons name is Kody, with a K, well she was entertained over the weekend by another Cody, with a C ;) I think she had someone that had a crush on her and it was great. It was really cute and I will say maybe I was a little jealous that a 10 year old was winning over her over me, haha. Nonetheless I only hope she had as much fun hanging out with the adults and kids as the rest of us did. I was great watching her interact with everyone and just not sitting on the sidelines. I need someone who wants to be part of the family and have fun, just not be there physically.

Onto the real fireworks, the first kiss. Just like she put it was just like the movies with fireworks going off, it was just well just priceless. Perfect doesn't do it justice and really words don't either, it was just something you can't write about. It was something that was 15 years in the making and like I told her we have 15 years worth of catching up to do on kissing and spending time together. I can't wait for it all. I know there will be many many more days and nights like on Sunday night when that first kiss took place.

Again the future is out there in front of us and none of us knows what might happen, but I can tell you I am making every moment count with Dani. I guess this is what everyone talks about when you find that special someone you want to spend forever with, well I am truly blessed to be right here in this moment. I am ready for the adventures ahead of us and also looking forward to meeting her family as I know that is just another foot forward into a lasting friendship that we both want. We both love music so much and can just vision the words of the songs and most of them we can apply to us. Here is just another instance, by one of my all time classic favorites, Queen...

"Ooo. you make me live
whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Ooo, you make me live now honey
Ooo, you make me live
You're the best friend
that I ever had"

I love this song and have always wanted my best friend to be just like these lyrics. I hope you find this as fitting as I do, so enjoy, because you make me live!!!

I Will Buy You A New Life

OK, I really don't plan on buying you a new life per say, but I do want to buy you a new life in the sense of you and I! So last night was an epic night on all accords. The first chapter as to I see a never ending story of greatness that I call US!

I guess I am just so so happy, that I went to bed at almost 3am and got up at 6:30am wide awake to start the day, just because I can, because I want too, because from this day forward I have something worth fighting for that I want to fight for. Its only the day after our first date and I already am ready for the next 100 years of our lives. I mean is this what that one word is really like, haaaaa got you there, I was taking about heaven, what were you thinking? ;p

The things that we have in common are just to much to deny that it was meant to be. I mean I want to write about you, talk about you, be with you, live life with you!! I don't even like the Redsox, but I want to be there with you at that 100th anniversary game at Fenway. I want to be your right winger on the soccer field, your roadie at the next concert, your everything, I am sure many many more things, but the best thing I want to be with you is your best friend. I feel that we are way to cool for school and maybe just the best dynamic duo every to save this planet. Ok tough to beat Mr. Chaney and our homeboy G.W!!!

Like you said people will read and be like get a room or blah you two, but for once I am so happy to be that person in who is ready for the next adventure with you. I am sure we both have said it in the past to some sort, that the other was just right or the one, but I have never felt such a connection with anyone before you. So that new life that I want to buy you is just just you and me to be happy for ever and ever.

And yes we are "to infinity and beyond" to the i's and t's!!

Dani + Zach = AWESOMENESS!!

So in my 31 years of existence I haven't won the lottery, been to Spain or even been in a relationship that I can say I wanted to work so hard on, until tonight! I figuratively didn't hit the lottery, but I have Dani, who is priceless, didn't make it to Spain, but took an awesome river cruise that felt like being in a foreign land and the relationship is just beginning to bloom into what I can honestly say something that will go into the history books. Some might read this blog and say WTF was he talking about. Well that is that factor that since you were not there you will not understand. Only one person will truly understand all this rambling.

They say when you know it you just know it. Well from my eyes and heart I now know it, its not so much an it as it is a she, Dani. Someone that completes me, likes fainting goats, likes brother Bush and best of all makes me possibly the happiest guy on this planet. Like I said before, why would a guy every want to write his feelings down, especially for the whole world to read and poke fun or laugh at or even be jealous of. Well that reason is because I have someone to consume my time in the positive way that I want to write about. We may be shy when we are face to face, but I have this way to express myself. I know she will understand all this that I am writing.

I can honestly say that I have not wanted something so much in my life as where I am right now in life. Our little conversations that we are able to freely talk openly about anything is just wonderful, I actually look forward to talking with her, I want to hear what she will say next and look forward to her making fun of how I say 'friend!' :)

I know this song is not exactly the most upbeat song, but I know you will understand this lyric from it:
I'm not scared
'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me
And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see

For me that couldn't be any further from the truth, because you are that something, you are that someone that isn't waiting for me, you are here!!

I'll leave you with these, what I would call pretty awesome words: 'To infinity and beyond!!' That is what I see this thing we call us and the future. Until next time... see there even taking something she says and using it for my own :)