Three's Company…

They say everything happens in waves of three. Lately, maybe that is the case for my relationships and a bad case of karma. Let me get this off my chest, I am no saint nor am I perfect. I have many flaws and I will be the first to admit to my mistakes.

When it comes to relationships I feel that it is one subject area that I am still lacking the vital tools to make one last in the end. I feel comfortable that I have pretty good people skills in general, but when it comes to the fairer sex and dating, something is missing. I need to restock my toolbox with tools for 21^st century dating.

I am by far the easiest person to get along with; I am not mean by any means, just quite stubborn in my ways and views. That right there is one of my issues. Isn’t admitting you have a problem the first step in recovery? (Wait that’s a whole different ball of wax.) I am always quick to lecture a point about something, not so much into actually lecturing, but it just comes across that way. Mostly it seems to come from my own personal experiences and I am only trying to give advice, but some take it as I am being a parent and lecturing to them. None of us like to be lectured too. But from what I have gathered in my short life and from the lectures that I have received there is a point behind them; and usually for the best. At the time we may not want to hear it, but whoever is doing the talking probably knows a thing or two on the subject at hand. I believe I am no different as I have experienced many up’s and down’s in my short life. To me those have been learning experiences.

Prior to my most recent relationship bumble, the previous two before that ended around the third month via text message; nonetheless this last one was no different. Except we made it to four months! Oh technology, how you can be a cruel cruel tool these days. This is where karma has come full circle in my life. 

Almost two years ago, I was the one who did the breaking up via text. Hippocratic yes I am and guess what here I am blaming no one but myself. This time it seemed different for my end, was pretty much caught off guard, but at the same time don’t feel as down about it. Does that mean the care or love for that individual wasn’t there? No. Those feelings were true, but what cost us was two stubborn individuals that was not going to communicate in the end, because I am me and tired of being the good guy that seems to screw something up and own up to that screw up, yet didn’t do any good. Thought we were both grown adults and had better communication skills to work an issue out. Guess I said one thing, yet went against what I said and it was misconstrued. Again when you only communicate via text message, a message or two most likely will get misinterpreted. I know I’ve had to re-read a message a time or two and then the light bulb went off as to, oh that is what they meant. Silly me.

I recently read someone’s quote that dealt with “It is what it is”, they said it wasn’t, but “It is what we make of it.” I fully see that as the glass half full view on anything in life.

I didn’t think my dating or relationship skills were this bad, but from the looks of things, I obliviously have some sort of learning disability. I true to take every bad and turn it into good or very least a learning experience that I do not want to duplicate. I typically tell people I am a slow learner, sometimes I don’t think they really believe me, but in the end it’s the truth.

Communication is the best skill a person can have when it comes to relationships of any kind, without communication things will get misinterpreted and if you can’t communicate to fix those misinterpretations then things are doomed. Guess it’s time for me to go back to school and learn communication skills again.

I know in the end I didn’t help the situation, it seemed in the last month of the relationship we had more little arguments then we did the whole rest of the time we dated. A lot of those were brought on by me, because when I do communicate I want to resolve the issue, not just turn and walk away. And when that happened I only made things worse by making the person talk, but that is who I am, I hate to leave unfinished business at hand. Some of those arguments were quite silly looking back. One dealt with how the president and congress was in a fuss about Ralph Lauren and the Olympic clothing issue. All I wanted was her thoughts, didn’t know it would lead to the beginning of the end, but it did. A few weeks later here I am writing my thoughts out.

And this is where I hope to learn some of those new tools, by talking about my failures and listening to advice from others. Does that mean I should listen while someone is lecturing to me? No, it just means maybe they have had similar experience and can help better understand what went wrong. So please by all means this is open for criticism and lecturing, have at it!